Updated: May 16
I’ve debated writing this for a while. For one, I don’t want to be messy. Secondly, I still wrote with my ex’s feelings in mind. I soon realized that just like he owes me nothing — I don't owe him shit either.
That said, the concept of interracial dating is something that is contentiously personal to me. I support my friends’ unions. And c’mon folks — my parents’ marriage? How could I ever speak ill of that? *I am a biracial Black woman, and my parents are an interracial couple.
Here’s my but. And my contention.
I cannot stand brothers who are infatuated with, cape for, and choose white chicks over (or to the detriment of) Black women. It demonstrates not only submission to society’s racist Eurocentric standards of acceptability, privilege, and currency but also a nasty element of colonized self-hatred.
Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, I’ll get to my point. My ex, yep, the guy who knocked up some goofy random broad while he was out of town “working” — well that goofy broad is white. Like extra white.
A bit of context. My ex is a Black man. He is very conscious and proud of Black culture and history. He is outspoken about racial issues and has committed his life to the culture and to a certain extent, the struggle. I’ve always admired that about him.
So, after I uncovered the news of the baby and researched who this mystery woman was (her name is very white, so I suppose I should’ve guessed she was just from reading it); I came across her Facebook page — with a profile picture of she and my ex smiling and looking disgustingly carefree (while my Black ass is sitting at home, miserable, making playlists and making excuses — missing him).
Next, I came across a text conversation between her and my ex that she screenshot and
posted to her Instagram. The main conversation is irrelevant, but the crux of the conversation (at least to me) is when he told her that he was “happy to serve her” because she is his “queen”.
It is difficult for me to unpack all that is wrong with this, but I’ll start here. First, how DARE you refer to this ignorant white bitch as your queen while your Black ass girlfriend is at home missing your lying, cheating ass (and paying for our household bills)?
Secondly. You’re happy to “serve her"...
This happened three years ago, and it still raises my blood pressure, so I’ll have to end this post here and resume it when I can gather my thoughts. Minus residual bitterness.
But I’ll end with this, digressing a bit. Isn’t it really interesting how Black men like Trevor Noah and Charlamagne Tha God continue to cape for and give a platform to Tomi Lahren’s bigoted ass (arguably because she’s a pretty, white girl)? Being a pretty white girl carries a lot of currency these days, doesn’t it?
The point being: Black men, these days seem to have an infatuation with (mediocre, at best; horrific, at worst) white women — with no regard for common sense. And least of all the Black women who love and are down for them.